Why Isn’t Wall Street in Jail? - “Financial crooks brought down the world’s economy — but the feds are doing more to protect them than to prosecute them.”
The Great American Bubble Machine - “The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money…”
How Wall St. Copies the Mob - “How America’s biggest banks took part in a nationwide bid-rigging conspiracy - until they were caught on tape.”
How Wall Street Killed Financial Reform - “How the banks strangled the Dodd-Frank law — with a big assist from Congress and the White House.”
The Big Takeover - “How Wall Street insiders are using the bailout to stage a revolution”
The Real Housewives of Wall Street - “Why is the Federal Reserve forking over $220 million in bailout money to the wives of two Morgan Stanley bigwigs?”
Wall Street’s Bailout Hustle - “Goldman Sachs and other big banks aren’t just pocketing the trillions we gave them to rescue the economy — they’re re-creating the conditions for another crash.”
Looting Main Street - “How the nation’s biggest banks are ripping off American cities with the same predatory deals that brought down Greece.”
Secrets and Lies of the Bailout - The federal rescue of Wall Street didn’t fix the economy – it created a permanent bailout state based on a Ponzi-like confidence scheme. And the worst may be yet to come…
The Biggest Price-Fixing Scandal Ever - How and why there’s no price the big banks can’t fix
Gangster Bankers: Too Big to Jail - How HSBC hooked up with drug traffickers and terrorists. And got away with it
How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the OWS Protests - “Much more than a movement against big banks, they’re a rejection of what our society has become.”
Why Sports Are for Losers - “There is a dirty truth that professional sports keeps hidden from fans, i.e., guys like you and me who spend winter after winter wondering, What if? And that truth is: Watching sports sucks.
You Can’t Kill the Rooster - “Use the word y’all and, before you knew it, you’d find yourself in a haystack French-kissing an underage goat.”
Three - A trio of the best Sedaris stories including The Youth in Asia, Jesus Shaves and Giant Dreams, Midget Abilities
Old Lady Down the Hall - Her name was Rocky. She was my neighbor. I hated her guts. She was my best friend.
Undecided Voters -“Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
The Man Upstairs - “What religious people call fate, I call luck, and what they call God’s will, I call bad luck.”
Journey Into Night - “That’s Business Elite for you. Spend eight thousand dollars on a ticket and, if you want an extra thirteen cents’ worth of ice cream, all you have to do is ask.”
The Man Who Mistook His Hat for a Meal - “My father has always had some questionable eating habits, but this is getting ridiculous.”
Laugh, Kookaburra -“One burner represents your family, one is your friends, the third is your health, and the fourth is your work. In order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners.”
Guy Walks into a Bar Car - “We’ll kiss … now, I kept thinking. Then, O.K… . now. And on it went, more torturous by the second.”
Six to Eight Black Men - “The words silly and unrealistic were redefined when I learned that, in Holland, Saint Nicholas travels with what was consistently described as “six to eight black men.”
Never Forget - “In 1975, in Cambodia, there was a regime so evil that it created an antisociety where torture was currency and music, books, and love were abolished… ”
A Voyage to the Sun - “In a sealed chamber in the desert Southwest lies the heart of a machine that could change the world. A machine called Z.”
The Suicide Catcher - “In the rapidly modernizing, constantly churning city of Nanjing, China, there is a bridge where many come to end their lives. Most end up in the Yangtze River, but some are pulled back from the brink by an odd and unlikely angel.”
The Flight Of the Fluttering Swallows - “It is estimated that unaccompanied child refugees from North Korea number nearly 10,000 in China, but only about 100 of them have made it to the Promised Land, South Korea, in the last five years.”
The Man Who Wouldn’t Die - “Olympic hero Rulon Gardner has fallen off trucks, tumbled off tractors, and gotten stuck in a baler. He has been impaled on an arrow, broken his neck, and gashed his knee clean to the bone…”
The Man Who Sailed His House - “Two days after the Japanese tsunami, after the waves had left their destruction, as rescue workers searched the ruins, news came of an almost surreal survival: Miles out at sea, a man was found, alone, riding on nothing but the roof of his house.”
The Fast Track to Dharma - “60 Degrees Straight Down, Mind the Boulders and Avalanches. A postcard from La Grave, France - alpinism’s new lost horizon.”
The World’s Luckiest Village by Michael Paterniti - It was a tiny town of farmers, a village where everyone knew everyone and nearly all struggled to make ends meet. But then, a few days before Christmas, they won the largest lottery in the history of Spain. The entire town. All of them.
The Last Meal - “A two-ounce songbird. A lemon-sized tumor. An imperial appetite for death, flesh, and the immortal gesture. It was time for dinner.”
The Greatest Chef In The World - The true tale of the alchemical miracles and transcendental gastronomy of Ferran Adriá, the world’s greatest chef.
The End - The era that defined Wall Street is finally, officially over. What went wrong?
The Man Who Crashed the World - How one man (almost) single-handedly destroyed the world’s biggest insurance company.
Betting on the Blind Side - How one investor spotted the huge bubble in the subprime-mortgage bond market, in 2004, and created a way to bet against it.
The Trading Desk - For the past four years, working with one of the lowest payrolls in the game, the Oakland A’s have won as many regular-season games as almost any other team. How on earth did they do it?
The Ballad of Big Mike - Every other high-school football player in America was dying for Lemming to invite him to play in the U.S. Army All-American Bowl. Michael Oher had left his invitation on the table…
The No-Stats All-Star - His greatness is not marked in box scores or at slam-dunk contests, but on the court Shane Battier makes his team better, often much better, and his opponents worse, often much worse.
Jonathan Lebed’s Extracurricular Activities - On Sept. 20, 2000, the SEC settled its case against a 15-year-old high-school student named Jonathan Lebed, the first minor ever to face proceedings for stock-market fraud.
Faking It - In a fast changing economy, children enjoy one big advantage over adults: they haven’t decided who they are.
The Subversive - McCain wanted to change the way politicians paid for their campaigns. Private money, he said, was corrupting public life.
J-School Confidential - What do they teach at the Columbia Journalism School?
How to Get a Nuclear Bomb - It wouldn’t be easy. But it wouldn’t be impossible. A reporter travels the world to find out how.
The Shipbreakers - “At Alang, in India, on a six-mile stretch of oily, smoky beach, 40,000 men tear apart half of the world’s discarded ships, each one a sump of toxic waste.”
Jungle Law - How hundreds of miles of rain forest became a toxic-waste dump.
The Expendables - The dark romance of the French Foreign Legion: haunted men from everywhere, fighting anywhere, dying for causes not their own.
The Pirate Latitudes - The ruthless calculus behind a new age of piracy.
The Distant Executioner - “A sniper must bear the burden of intimate killing for the rest of their life. On the other hand, even when they get it wrong, they kill only one man at a time.”
The World in its Extreme - The Sahara is a desert so vast that no airplane can diminish it.
City of Fear - “São Paulo, Brazil, teeters on the edge of a feral zone where governments and countries lose their meaning, a wilderness inhabited by large populations worldwide, but officially denied and rarely described.”
Welcome to the Green Zone - The American bubble in Baghdad
The Turn - “At the very heart of winged flight lies the banked turn, a procedure that by now seems so routine and familiar that airline passengers appreciate neither its elegance and mystery nor its dangerously delusive character.”
The Million Dollar Nose - “The most influential wine critic in the world today is not a snob or an obvious aesthete, as one might imagine, but an ordinary American.”
Violence of the Lambs - “Elephants on the African savanna have been raping rhinoceroses. Evidently this is just as startling to science as it to the layperson.”
Leaving Reality - “Where do you go after you leave the cast of The Real World? To a universe where your only job is to be young and famous and keep the party jumpin’. Or to a tiny hell of endless exploitation.”
Feet in Smoke - “On the morning of April 21, 1995, my elder brother, Worth (short for Elsworth), put his mouth to a microphone in a garage in Lexington, Kentucky, and was electrocuted.”
You Blow My Mind. Hey, Mickey! -“Do you Disney?” One goes to Disneyland and has a great time there, but one Disneys at Walt Disney World Resort in Florida. There’s an implication of surrender to something enormous.”
Peyton’s Place - “Practically every day, cars stop in front of our house and people get out to take pictures of it, and of us—me and my wife and daughter—if we happen to be outside…”
My Debt to Ireland - “He was, I thought, one of the most authentically Irish-seeming guys I’d ever met, apart from his being Ukrainian.”
Where Is Cuba Going? - “On the plane, something odd but also vaguely magical-seeming happened: nobody knew what time it was…”
Back In The Day - “Before the weirdness claimed his legacy, Michael Jackson understood his talent better than we ever have…”
Upon This Rock - “Rock music used to be a safe haven for degenerates and rebels. Until it found Jesus.”
The Last Wailer - “He grew up in the same house as Bob Marley, and together with Peter Tosh, they created not just The Wailers but a new template for sound.”
The Final Comeback of Axl Rose - “The doors had opened at seven o’clock. The opening act had been off by eight thirty. It was now after eleven o’clock. It didn’t feel like the room could get any tenser…”
A Brief History of the Corporation - The Age of Corporations is coming to an end.
Welcome to the Future Nauseous - Somehow, the future always seems like something that is going to happen rather than something that is happening.
The Return of the Barbarian - Why the influence of nomads on the course of human history is grossly underestimated.
Eternal Hypochondria of the Expanding Mind - It is not enough to ask, what is the plot? and what were the archetypes of the day? We must also ask, what were they smoking?
The Abundances of Ages - The next big thing is almost certainly not going to be a thing at all.
Hacking the Non-Disposable Planet - We’re reaching a technological complexity threshold where hacking is going to be the main mechanism for the further evolution of civilization.
Waste, Creativity and Technology - On a 10-point scale where good vs. evil is a 4 in terms of difficulty, I’d rate scarcity versus abundance at 8.5.
The Gollum Effect - Gollum is both employee and consumer. A prosumer locked in a death embrace with a product. He is a raving fan.
The Gervais Principle - The Office is not a random series of cynical gags aimed at momentarily alleviating the existential despair of low-level grunts. It is a fully realized theory of management.
Ubiquity Illusions & the Chicken-Egg Problem - You need relevant experience to get a good job, you need a good job to get relevant experience. Or just fake it till you make it.
The Slash Effect - The most visible symptom of the effect is the professional who uses a slash to describe herself…
The American Male at Age Ten - “If Colin Duffy and I were to get married, ee would sleep in our clothes and eat pizza and candy for all of our meals. We wouldn’t have sex, but we would have crushes on each other…”
The Place to Disapear - “All languages are welcome on Bangkok’s Khao San Road, including Drunkard…”
Life’s Swell - “To be a surfer girl in Maui is to be the luckiest of creatures. It means you’re beautiful and tan and ready to rip. It means you’ve caught the perfect dappled wave and are on a ride that can’t possibly end…”
The Origami Lab - For centuries, origami patterns had at most thirty steps; now they can have hundreds and scientists have started applying its techniques to medical, electrical, optical, and nano-technical problems…”
Shoot the Moon - “White men in suits follow Felipe Lopez everywhere he goes. They are ubiquitous. They rarely miss one of Felipe’s games or tournaments…”
Do We Transcend Before or After We Purchase the Commemorative Eel Cakes? - “Climbing Mount Fuji, where nature, religion, sport, and schlock form the most holy of alliances.”
The Congo Sound - “Hervé Halfon owns a record store on the Rue des Plantes, in Montparnasse, just a few Métro stops from the Eiffel Tower but spiritually closer to Avenue Gambela, in Congo…”
La Matadora Revisa Su Maquillaje (The Bullfighter Checks Her Makeup) - “People think that because I kill bulls I have to be really brave, but I’m not. I’m a sensitive person, and I can get super-terrified. I’m afraid of staying home by myself, and I get hysterical if I see a spider.”
Meet The Shaggs - “Depending on whom you ask, the Shaggs were either the best band of all time or the worst…”
Orchid Fever - “Generally speaking, orchids seem to drive people crazy. The people who love orchids love them madly, but the passion for orchids is not necessarily a passion for beauty…”
Empire of Ice - “If you want to know how badly we need oil, here is your answer.”
This is Paradise - “Two centuries of heedless gorging and historic wastefulness has left us with an intractable problem: What do we do with our trash?”
Breeding the Perfect Bull - “There once was a bull, the son of Cherokee Canyon, the grandson of Make My Day—a noble pedigree. The cowboy who designed him, who chose the semen, selected the dam, prepared and inseminated the uterus, named him Revelation.”
Joy Ride - “When you’re in a long-haul truck you are in a different zone, a shared space high above the rhythms of vacation, commuting, visiting. You are in a moving neighborhood above all that…”
Underworld - “The invisible economy America couldn’t live without.”
Hecho en América - “It’s easy to have an opinion about immigration, and easier to forget that people—actual people—pick our food.”
Traffic - “At any given moment, on any given morning, there are roughly 6,000 planes on their way to somewhere, from somewhere, over America.”
Guns ‘R Us - In America these days, it seems like everyone is packing heat. In fact, we’re the most heavily armed populace on the planet. So where do most of us go when we need a shiny new Glock or a convenient AK-47?
G-L-O-R-Y! - “The hot, peppy, underpaid world of the NFL cheerleaders.”
America is Bull - “When you get on your bull, you have to, just, be on your bull.”
The People V. Football - The devastating impact of football on players’ brains
Real Genius - “An introduction to the highly advanced theory of Advancement, an entirely new way to appreciate Sting, Val Kilmer, C-Murder, and other profound artists.”
If You See It, Is It Real? - “I have always wondered this: Why am I able to see any random television program, often for less than ten seconds, and immediately recognize which network the show is airing on?”
Something Wicked This Way Comes - “Each summer, 500 goths descend on Disneyland to smoke cigarettes and mock Snow White. Why? Because it’s the only place where they can truly feel at home.”
Is the Fastest Human Ever Already Alive? - Allow me to spare you the hyperbole: Usain Bolt is fast…
The Awe-Inspiring Majesty of Science - If tampering with the DNA of unborn children in an attempt to grant them unfathomable superpowers is wrong, I don’t wanna be right…
This is Emo - “I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack. That would have been fine if Cusack and I were competing for the same woman, I could easily accept losing. However, her relationship to Cusack was confined to watching him as a two-dimensional projection.”
Things We Think We Know - “We all hate stereotypes. Stereotypes are killing us, and they are killing our children, and they are putting LSD into the water supply. Stereotypes are like rogue elephants with AIDS that have been set on fire by terrorists, except worse. We all hate stereotypes. Seriously. Dude, we fucking hate them… except that we don’t.”
Why Modern Life Feels Rather Undead - “Zombies are like the Internet and the media and every conversation we don’t want to have. All of it comes at us endlessly (and thoughtlessly), and — if we surrender — we will be overtaken and absorbed.”
You’re Not Wrong - Perhaps everybody is right.
The Importance of Being Hated - In this golden age of enmity, friends are for suckers. What you need are a pair of well-chosen foes.