
Would you like bottle service at one of our dance-floor tables? That’ll be another $10,000. How about a 30-liter bottle of champagne to share with a dozen women you’ve never met? $250,000.

Hi, my name is Devin Friedman, and I like Sting. And yes, I’m wearing J.Crew. And I could really go for a Chipotle burrito. I’m middlebrow. Admit it. So are you.

Bernardo Provenzano was the boss of all bosses of the Sicilian Mafia. He had been a fugitive since 1963, longer than anyone else anywhere in the world. Then, last April, on a small farm near Corleone, his years on the run came to an end.

Why one would take out an ad on the Internet looking for a black friend is a legitimate question. Here’s my answer…

There is a place where all the breasts are large. Large, young, tanned, and naked. A place where everyone fucks and fucks and fucks and never dies. Where the men are rich and carefree and the women are beautiful and pliant and young.

A fearless (fence-hopping) journey into the (unbelievably white) world of America’s oldest (i.e., snootiest), WASPiest (gin and tonic, anyone?), most exclusive (read: you’ll never get in!) country clubs.

I have, and it’s humiliating to type this, kind of always wanted to go back to high school. I (and this is even more humiliating) miss it.