
Changing the chance of success doesn’t alter the men’s behaviour much, but women are extremely responsive to the likelihood of success.

Too many of us smile in lieu of showing what’s really on our minds. Despite all the work we American women have done to get and maintain full legal control of our bodies, not to mention our destinies, we still don’t seem to be fully in charge of a couple of small muscle groups in our faces.

At a party recently I watched a four-year-old boy drop his pants in a corner of the yard and take a leak. No one blinked. Boys do this in the darkling night. The kid seemed to take in the ocean view as he threaded the darkness with his piss.

We’ve ignored all the evidence of male achievement and ambition deficits and stood aside as our sons have notched a growing record of failure and disengagement.

Most trends are made up and stupid. The so-called mancession was the stupidest made-up trend of our time.

I was boyish. I was athletic, ambitious, outspoken, competitive, noisy, rambunctious. I had scabs on my knees and my socks slid into my loafers and I could throw a football. I wanted desperately not to be that way. I wanted to be a girl, as soft and as pink as a nursery. And nothing would do that for me, I felt, but breasts.

Unexpectedly, with frightening speed, the boy’s Y chromosome kicks in. It’s a remarkable thing to watch. If anyone thinks gender is purely a social construct - as I once did - they should spend a couple hours with my sons. It’s like my boys read a book called The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Fulfilling Male Stereotypes.

The basic Female body comes with the following accessories: garter belt, panty-girdle, crinoline, camisole, bustle, brassiere, stomacher, chemise, virgin zone, spike heels, nose ring, veil, kid gloves, fishnet stockings, fichu, bandeau, Merry Widow, weepers, chokers, barrettes, bangles, beads, lorgnette, feather boa, basic black, compact, Lycra stretch one-piece with modesty panel, designer peignoir, flannel nightie, lace teddy, bed, head.

In Paris they warn you before cutting off the water, but out in Normandy you’re just supposed to know. You’re also supposed to be prepared, and it’s this last part that gets me every time…